Section VI, Record Book
Champions.
Two columns: the guy who won, and the guy who has to explain himself. Notice how many Cowboys fans are missing from the left column, then remember they haven't won anything real since 1995 either. Eagles fans have one trophy and will mention it 40 times before Week 3. Nobody forgets. We have receipts. We have photos. We have the video.
The Hardware
One gold surfer. Twelve grown men losing sleep over it.
“Cape May League Fantasy Football Incumbent Champion.” Engraved, plated, and slightly heavier than it looks. It sits on a shelf all year reminding eleven owners that they are not the guy holding it.
The Tally
Who owns this league, and who owns the couch.
Titles
- Matt Minteer4 titles
- Pat Gleeton2 titles
- Peyton (Joel) Moses2 titles
- Aaron Hullings1 title
- John Fraga1 title
- Steve Kramer1 title
Last Place Finishes
- Aaron Hullings2x
- Jeremy Paul2x
- Brady Halligan1x
- Jeff Marver1x
- Kent Lambie1x
- Mike Rechner1x
- Pat Gleeton1x
- Peyton (Joel) Moses1x
- Steve Kramer1x
The Sackomobile Files
Last place has come with a bill since 2022.
Before 2022 you could finish last and simply be sad in private. Those days are over. The league votes on the punishment, the punishment gets documented, and the documentation never disappears.
2022
Pat Gleeton
Sat for the actual SATs. Full test, full timer, No. 2 pencil. He then won the whole thing in 2025, so apparently it worked.
2023
Brady Halligan
Refused to do anything at all, which is its own punishment. He was removed from the league and replaced by Bob Spellman. Let that be the deterrent.
2024
Peyton (Joel) Moses
An Eagles fan walked into a sportsbook to place the group parlay wearing a Giants shirt, a Cowboys hat, and a sign reading “I stink at fantasy football.” Beautiful work.
2025
Aaron Hullings
The hot chip challenge, in public, on camera, answering questions and reciting the Allen Iverson “practice” press conference. We are talking about practice.
2025 Receipt
Aaron does the hot chip challenge, on camera, so it lives forever.
He ate the chip, answered the questions, and recited Allen Iverson's “practice” speech like his fantasy dignity depended on it. Future last-place finishers, this is the bar. Or maybe the floor.
2024 Receipt
Joel walks into a sportsbook dressed as his own worst nightmare.
An Eagles fan in a Giants shirt, a Cowboys hat, and a sign announcing that he stinks at fantasy football, placing the group parlay in public. The ticket lost. Obviously. Everything about this is perfect.
| Season | Champion | Last Place |
|---|---|---|
| 2025 | Pitter's Patters Pat Gleeton | Dont Blame Me (Kicker Version) Aaron Hullings |
| 2024 | SAT Preparation John Fraga | Fuck Y! Projections Peyton (Joel) Moses |
| 2023 | Botas Verdes… Tres puntos Cero Steve Kramer | The Real Tom Brady Brady Halligan |
| 2022 | Matty Ice Matt Minteer | Pitter's Patters Pat Gleeton |
| 2021 | Matty Ice Matt Minteer | Green Boots Steve Kramer |
| 2020 | Matty Ice Matt Minteer | Lil Snoozi Vert Aaron Hullings |
| 2019 | Lil Snoozi Vert Aaron Hullings | Killa KO Kent Lambie |
| 2018 | Pitter's Patters Pat Gleeton | Best Coast Jeremy Paul |
| 2017 | Matty Ice Matt Minteer | Best Coast Jeremy Paul |
| 2016 | Wht can brwn do 4 u? Peyton (Joel) Moses | Chef Curry Jeff Marver |
| 2015 | Hiatus No league, no trophy, no trash talk. A dark time. | |
| 2014 | Hiatus No league, no trophy, no trash talk. A dark time. | |
| 2013 | Peyton's Team Peyton (Joel) Moses | mike's team Mike Rechner |
The league took 2014 and 2015 off. Nobody agrees on why. If your version of events differs, take it up with the commissioner, politely, he is one of the three Giants fans.